It’s All Chemistry

Saw my therapist for the first time in years. Literally. Five of them to be exact. Spent most of the hour catching her up on those five years and how they relate to today.

Realized how very much has happened in that time: the divorce was finalized; I moved twice (and will be again sometime within the next 9 months); I went from being a federal wage clerical employee to a State employee, and from the first level of that up two additional levels; I went from editing as a hobby and beta reading to making okay money as a part time freelancer; I published two books; and my mom died. That last one is still such a kick to the gut and the second to last one is one of the things of which I’m most proud.

We talked about my symptoms. Which, on the whole, haven’t changed. She believes they sound like chemical imbalance issues. So, so far, my doctor, my therapist, and I are in agreement that medication and therapy are the way to go. Now, to just get in to a psychiatrist’s office. I got more referrals and made another call. Really hope I can get something scheduled soon. I don’t care if the appointment itself isn’t for a few months, so long as it’s scheduled.

Scheduled follow-ups with her and my doctor today. I know we have minimal control over our lives most of the time. But for the first time in a long time I have the illusion of being ever so slightly more in control of mine. And illusion or not, it feels pretty good.

That I accidentally hit my step goal today while J and I were playing PoGo was icing on the proverbial cake.

Meanwhile, today was already a good day. Odds are tomorrow or the next day won’t be as good. Those are what I need to change…

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