Done Remembering

Today marks 365 days
That she’s been gone.
We went long stretches
Without talking sometimes
But never anything
Like this.

I don’t want to remember.
This day should never
Be special in any way.
She’s still dead,
Still gone.
Marking today changes nothing

Remembering today
Only serves to remind
That somehow a year
Has come and gone.
It sharpens the pain
That deadens each day.

If I’m going to remember
I want to remember
Her life, not her death
The limitless spark of her soul,
Not the limitations
Of her body.

I will remember the day
She drew her first breath
And started her journey
Through this world
Rather than her last
When she slipped into the past.

I hope I have many years
Of my own
Before I too am gone
But I do not want to count
The passing of time
Between our ends

I’m fighting back the tears
Sadness is my default
Reminding myself to smile
Remembering should be joyful
Maybe bittersweet
That’s what she’d want

So I’m done remembering
On this day
Letting it go and moving on
Because life moves on
And I can still see her smile
When I close my eyes

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